The hands I used to hold shake vigorously
Yet you still hide your demons to sleep beside me.
And deep down I know how you ache to be free,
But your smile hides the pain you shelter and keep.
My love seeks to save you, but you won’t let me see,
Can’t stand to keep me bound, but can’t bear to watch me leave.
Still you carry on like normal while you suffer silently.
But I will continue to stay and not reluctantly.
And together we will search for the deliverance that you seek.
For perhaps, love is an addiction, and that, you are to me.
A King Amongst men
Caught up in the essence of you
You wear the heart of ten thousand kings
A calling that’s befitting and true
Of a man who sings praises to queens.
You bear the likeness of the midnight sky
It’s no wonder you command my every wish
With the star’s glitter in your ebony eyes
The undying craving to taste your kiss.
Blessings to the womb who bore you
I bow at your CREATOR’S throne
Jealous of the hands that’ve touched you
Prayers that you’ll never leave me alone.
Thoughts that I was made to love you
A desire that burns deep within
Intimacy that has only caressed a few
A king amongst men.
I thought about you a lot today,
Watched your side of the bed, wondered why you wouldn’t stay.
Dreamt of the touch of your sun kissed skin,
Smelled your favorite shirt, don’t even know why I kept it.
I can still feel your fingers dancing in my curls,
Infatuated with my lips…said they were made for colored girls.
And still you left…
Yesterday, for breakfast, I made your favorite.
Oatmeal with raisins, you used to always crave it.
I sat down to write you, another letter like the rest,
Signed it with a kiss, but like the others, it’ll never leave my desk.
On the porch in the evenings, watching the sun make its exit,
Making love until it returned, I know that you miss it.
And still you left…
Tomorrow I’ll get up the nerve to visit you a couple of hours,
I’ll wear the dress you like, the yellow one with the purple flowers.
We’ll talk of the time we had, the love that was yours and mine.
Then the tears will fall, like they often do, but I’ll convince you that I’m fine.
I’ll lay in the grass, caress the stone, and pray that you’re resting in peace.
You used to always say, with me you’d stay, there’s no other place you’d rather be,
but still…you left.
I hate who I use to love and I hate who we’ve become.
The mistakes of times past, we thought healed, but remained were some
Pain and brokenness that even time hasn’t erased.
These eyes that once looked at you like treasure have been replaced.
With glances of hatred, for you, my heart was once your home.
But selfish desires left an eviction notice…a reaping of what was sown.
I should walk away, I long to do so more often than not,
But a bigger force keeps me here, and on good days, leaving becomes an afterthought.
Today I’ll wait, in hopes of rekindling the fire that once made our souls sing
A trick of the mind, perhaps, because tomorrow I know, it’ll be the same thing.