Love You In the Dark

I don’t want to love you in the dark. I want to love you out loud, in wide open spaces, under shaded trees and setting suns, twinkling stars and a full moon.

I want to empty myself out, show you the darkest parts, the pieces that shy away from judgement, and watch you love me still.

I want my love to be free to fly to the highest mountain and be sheltered in your arms, safe from a world that isn’t safe. Because you are mine and I am yours.

The shadows have no space for a love like ours. No, I don’t want to love you in the dark, I just want…to love you.

Fated

Two strangers, on a lonely dark road, passing through the night.

They steal a glance, a brush of hands, two very different worlds collide.

It isn’t in vain, though they know, the time isn’t now.

They will meet again, later on, it’s not for them to know how.

When that day comes, they will embrace, and decide to walk together.

And will know for certain, that all along, they were destined for forever.

Awakened

You were a quiet blessing.

A stranger who became a friend, rendering aid to broken hearts.

I’d never seen myself so clearly,

I’d never so desired to be more than I was.

I’d never loved so deeply

…so effortlessly,

Than when I fell in love with you.

Untitled

Loving him was like a slow death,

like the buildup to an orgasm that would never come.

Pride

You watch me, I watch you.

You miss me, I miss you.

We say nothing.

One Day

Maybe one day, loving you won’t seem so impossible.

It will become as real as breathing…

Like something I was meant to do all along.

Time

I can only hope that love transcends.

That what has been an enemy, will become a savior,

and what has not been right,

will become perfect.

Heartbreak

Do you know how many people I’ve loved Before?

Do you know how many I don’t anymore?

It’ll pass.

How Could I?

You felt like a memory.

One that I had yet to live.

Your kindness was comforting,

Marking me in all the right places.

Filling the void in forgotten spaces.

Forget you? How Could I?

You became home to me,

The place I’d run when the world got heavy.

You were always waiting,

As if saving me was saving you.

Both longing to be rescued.

Forget you? How could I?

I became addicted to your laughter,

Medicine to my soul.

WE gave ME hope,

That love was divine.

Two people brought together,

Without any doing of our own

Forget you? How could I?

And so it happened…

You left.

Abandonment had never felt so real.

The pain evident that love doesn’t come without cost,

Doesn’t depart without leaving scars.

Hearts do break,

From riding clouds not solid enough to hold our weight.

An unfinished memory…

Forget you?

How could I?

The Sweetest Goodbye

I will be kind but I will be strong.

With words dipped in honeycomb, goodbye will be sweet.

No Regrets

I’d say we were better off as friends but not even friendship could hold us together.

Love was too strong to be anything but lovers.

And as star-crossed as we were, I’m still grateful that we crossed paths.

But what was never meant to be was never meant to last.

Mystery

What is it about your silence that compels me to search the depths of you…to explore until I am utterly consumed

by the whole of you, and still come up empty?

Silence

With every conversation, I hold my breath…because I know that last words will come,

And eventually…we’ll never speak again.

Distance

The hardest part about us is knowing that we’ll never have a conversation in person,

I’ll never hear your laugh igniting my own…

I’ll never see your beautiful brown eyes without there being a screen between us.

The hardest part about us is that we’ll never close the distance separating us.

I Love You

What scares me the most are the words we’ll never say.

The Fall

I’ve asked a few before, if I fall, will you catch me…

But with you it doesn’t matter.

The fall alone is worth it…

Even if your arms aren’t waiting when I hit the ground.

Broken Promises

I broke the promises I made to myself…to keep the ones I made to you.

Denial

I love him as a friend…

…the lies my heart tell.

On the Edge

Standing on the edge…

Your hand in mine.

Probably would’ve jumped…

If only we could fly.

Reminisce

Eventually, it all must end.

What will be your fondest memory?

Your greatest pain?

Funny I ask, because for me, the answers will all be the same…

Loving you.

Forgotten

If it means that much for you to have it, then have it.

But you won’t have us both.

I won’t even ask you to choose.

I’ll just walk away until you’re no longer visible when I turn around…

and at that point…

I’ll no longer remember what was behind me.

Addiction

The hands I used to hold shake vigorously

Yet you still hide your demons to sleep beside me.

And deep down I know how you ache to be free,

But your smile hides the pain you shelter and keep.

My love seeks to save you, but you won’t let me see,

Can’t stand to keep me bound, but can’t bear to watch me leave.

Still you carry on like normal while you suffer silently.

But I will continue to stay and not reluctantly.

And together we will search for the deliverance that you seek.

For perhaps, love is an addiction, and that, you are to me.

A King Amongst men

Caught up in the essence of you

You wear the heart of ten thousand kings

A calling that’s befitting and true

Of a man who sings praises to queens.

You bear the likeness of the midnight sky

It’s no wonder you command my every wish

With the star’s glitter in your ebony eyes

The undying craving to taste your kiss.

Blessings to the womb who bore you

I bow at your CREATOR’S throne

Jealous of the hands that’ve touched you

Prayers that you’ll never leave me alone. 

 Thoughts that I was made to love you

A desire that burns deep within

Intimacy that has only caressed a few

A king amongst men.

Letting Go

I thought about you a lot today,

Watched your side of the bed, wondered why you wouldn’t stay.

Dreamt of the touch of your sun kissed skin,

Smelled your favorite shirt, don’t even know why I kept it.

I can still feel your fingers dancing in my curls,

Infatuated with my lips…said they were made for colored girls.

And still you left…

Yesterday, for breakfast, I made your favorite.

Oatmeal with raisins, you used to always crave it.

I sat down to write you, another letter like the rest,

Signed it with a kiss, but like the others, it’ll never leave my desk.

On the porch in the evenings, watching the sun make its exit,

Making love until it returned, I know that you miss it.

And still you left…

Tomorrow I’ll get up the nerve to visit you a couple of hours,

I’ll wear the dress you like, the yellow one with the purple flowers.

We’ll talk of the time we had, the love that was yours and mine.

Then the tears will fall, like they often do, but I’ll convince you that I’m fine.

I’ll lay in the grass, caress the stone, and pray that you’re resting in peace.

You used to always say, with me you’d stay, there’s no other place you’d rather be,

but still…you left. 

Love Dissipate

I hate who I use to love and I hate who we’ve become.

The mistakes of times past, we thought healed, but remained were some

Pain and brokenness that even time hasn’t erased.

These eyes that once looked at you like treasure have been replaced.

With glances of hatred, for you, my heart was once your home.

But selfish desires left an eviction notice…a reaping of what was sown.

I should walk away, I long to do so more often than not,

But a bigger force keeps me here, and on good days, leaving becomes an afterthought.

Today I’ll wait, in hopes of rekindling the fire that once made our souls sing

A trick of the mind, perhaps, because tomorrow I know, it’ll be the same thing.